Full disclosure:Aerosmithis my all-time favorite band.
Another disclosure: I findThe Polar Expressto be a top contender forcreepiest Christmas movieever.
I know what you’re thinking: “Gee, thanks for these two random facts about yourself.”
Image via Warner Bros. Pictures
Firstly, you’re welcome.
And the mix is truly, truly terrifying.
Seriously, what the hell?
And what if the train goes off the rails and the kids all bite it?
How do you explain that to parents?
“Yeah, we stole your kid, and they died in a fiery train wreck.
Have a rum ball.”
“Hey, Santa.
Youse gotta take a left toin at Albuquerque.”
Video game Guitar Hero: Aerosmith did a better job, and it only hit Xbox screens.
At least his eyes are closed.
But the whole thing just looks, in a word, dumb.
At least they don’t speak.
There’d be no forgiveness if Tyler brought his Aerosmith bandmates into the debacle.
Maybe it’s a problem with sentient larvae?
Maybe Aerosmith can work that into their set lists.
“Dude (Looks Like a Larvae)?”
“Worms in the Attic?”
Here’s an idea.
The Polar Expressis available to stream in the U.S. on Max.
