Isa Mazzeiarrived on the filmmaking scene last year with quite a splash.
When did you know you wanted to write a book based on your experiences?
We hadn’t made it yet.
At that point, I think I was just working on the proposal, the outline for it.
What was it like from a writer’s perspective, to unfold that story in two different ways?
And that really enabled me to feel comfortable enough being as vulnerable as I am in the book.
Image via Rare Bird Books
It was a nice way to kind of ease into that, for sure.
Or was the success all good feelings for you?
MAZZEI: It definitely wasn’t all good feelings.
Image via Netflix
I was really, really excited with the reception of Cam.
I was really touched with people reaching out to me, sex workers and non-sex workers.
I just really liked people engaging with it and wanting to talk about it.
Image via Caitlin Fullam
And I think that I definitely, for a while, had this kind of like…
I can’t speak for all cam girls or all of their experiences.
And so, there’s just a whole world that I don’t even touch on, really.
Image via Sara Baar
As far as a public coming-out, that’s a huge spotlight, getting put on Netflix.
it’s possible for you to’t really get more attention than that, in as many homes.
MAZZEI: Yeah, it was definitely really terrifying.
Image via Caitlin Fullam
It was a decision.
It was a deliberate decision to put my name on the script.
My name wasn’t on the script at first.
I was worried that…
I know that sex workers have a hard time finding work afterward and people know what they did.
I’m really grateful for it.
I guess coming out in front of Cam was terrifying, but it also felt really necessary.
I had a lot of privilege where I was safe enough.
And that was really cool.
It’s a really vulnerable place to be, I guess is what I’m saying.
I’m kind of ranting.
No, I’m fascinated by it.
I think it’s incredibly brave and singular, literally singular.
No one else has done this.
There’s not another you out there, which is inspiring.
MAZZEI: Diablo Cody did it.
True, true, but she wasn’t a cam girl.
MAZZEI: No, she was a stripper.
Which means she doesn’t have videos of her possibly out there for people to find.
MAZZEI: Well, and that was the decision I made in my book.
It was 4Chan, it was on Reddit, it was on all these posts.
I think if you Google me, one of the most popular auto-fill options is “webcam name.”
“Isa Mazzei webcam name.”
And I realized people want to find this, they want to know who I was.
Andsothen I was like, “I’m going to give them what they want.”
I’m going to be like, “This is my porn name and this is who I was.
And if you want to Google me, okay.”
Like you say, you don’t have everyone’s experience; yours is a very specific one.
But I think that that’s a massive step in terms of perception and stigma.
But I was pretty out about it.
And that was so not my experience within the industry.
It was just paycheck or whatever.
Ok bear with me, this is about to get a little 3AM at the bar philosophical.
MAZZEI: Lets do it.
Theres also something pragmatic about that decision in an age where were not even sure privacy exists anymore.
There is no safety net anymore, so you might as well be who you are.
Which, first I came out as bi, then I came out as a lesbian.
We learn, we grow.
But it feels a lot like that.
I don’t have to hide it.
I don’t have to lie about it."
I remember applying for a job after camming.
I briefly worked a little bit before, just while we were trying to getCamoff the ground.
I can’t tell you what I did for the last three years."
There’s definitely a freedom in, “I can’t hide anymore.”
I can’t possibly agree more.
MAZZEI: Yeah, we didn’t have “queer” back then.
It was like you’re bi or you’re a lesbian.
That’s your options.
Thats empowering in its own way.
I was very, very lucky, in a way.
And I remember just watching The L Word.
I ordered the L word and this was back when Netflix was still on DVD.
And I was so dumb.
I orderedThe L Wordon DVD and I remember…
It’s okay if you’re gay."
I think that was probably one of his clues.
And I think being out as a sex worker, part of it was that for me too.
The L Wordis another great example of that power of representation and creating a public case for acceptance.
Those were the options.
MAZZEI: Oh my God, Tila Tequila!
I’m so glad it’s coming back.
MAZZEI: I know, me too.
MAZZEI: But for the time, it was a huge comfort at the time.
I felt so seen by it.
I think that was really important as a very angsty teenager.
I put a lot of that inCam, showing her studying and taking notes and watching other girls.
And I thought that was such a cool way to kind of legitimize it.
And they study their craft."
Just because you’re naked in the photos doesn’t mean you’re not learning a skill.
I think that’s really important too because I think that gets discredited.
And I still encounter that a lot.
I’m having an anxiety attack."
MAZZEI: Yay, I’m so glad!
I really tried hard on that, because that’s what it feels like.
Yeah, sex workers would be great at customer service, plan management.
And so it takes a lot of brainpower.
It’s the same structure.
Tip me for my attention and my content.
I think another big thing about it is access to your private life.
They just want to see you, not for the porn.
They wanted to feel like they had access to something really personal.
Well, I think the popularity of camming kind of speaks for itself in that right.
Yes, sex sells, but also the growing loneliness in computer culture’s a huge thing.
And I’ve definitely been on the other side of it too.
I feel like movies, and horror, in particular, are really powerful and incredible places to explore.
I am rooting for you."
And I think that’s one of the huge powers of horror.
Did you ever have a go at write a version ofCamthat was not genre or horror?
MAZZEI: I never tried to write a version ofCamthat wasn’t genre.
But like I never really wrote any of that.
I took myself very seriously in college.
I had to learn to take myself less seriously.
Almost every human could work on that problem, honestly.
Youre also doing an episode of Sam Raimis series50 States of Fright.
MAZZEI: Oh yeah, theQuibiepisode!
I hear he’s the loveliest.
MAZZEI: Yeah, so he’s amazing.
And then you feel kind of like, how did I not think of that?
But he’s been great and I’m excited about our episode.
SoQuibihas a lot of eyes on it because its playing with structure and shorter installments in the storytelling.
What are the unique challenges of writing something in that format?
You just watch a little at the airport, you watch a little piece… And he really pushed me on that withCam.
And I’d go to the top and I’d be like, “What is unnecessary?
Or what two lines can do the same work in one line?”
